Falling Asleep Crying

I’ve fallen asleep crying

a few times,

at night,

over unanswered questions,

heartbreak,

disappointments,

and such likes.

I’ve fallen asleep

at nights

crying

because of physical pain

where I groaned

for endless moments

until the relief of sleep came.

Something different occurred

that changed the game,

flipped the script,

twisted my scope,

that I was out of my depths with,

causing me to fall asleep crying,

in the middle of the morning

I lost someone

I have never met.

He or she, I can’t say,

was supposed to change my life,

my world,

my future.

And I suppose even the loss

of the unmet did.

Yes, without arriving,

this someone,

departed

and that tore my heart

right out of my chest

so when the pain got too overwhelming

when I could not find reason

or meaning

for keeping silent

or being strong.

I laid in my bed,

right there,

beside the other half of my heart,

and wept bitterly,

openly,

until my throat was hoarsed

and my eyes raw.

He must have been terrified,

I clawed at my metaphorical heart and mind,

and poured out all the emotions

I could find.

My mind wandered and wondered,

until I was at a loss,

for words,

for sound,

or tears.

I must have fallen asleep then,

because the next thing I was conscious of

was waking up,

to that gutted abyss,

and starting to cry

myself to sleep,

all over again.

By dasouda

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